I Just Wanted the Drama on Reality TV — Not in Real Life Facebook Groups
I’ve been watching reality TV for over 20 years. From the early days of The Real World and Flavor of Love to The Real Housewives and Love & Hip Hop, I’ve been a fan of the drama, the shade, the chaos—and yes, even the fashion and friendships. I’ve also been an active member of Facebook groups where people come together to share opinions, crack jokes, and follow the latest episodes.
But here's the thing: in my current reality TV group, I’m the only male in the room—and unfortunately, that doesn’t always feel like a safe or welcoming space.
I could be wrong. Maybe it's in my head. But after starting over a dozen groups myself and watching how people interact online, I’ve noticed that being the only man—especially in a group full of Black women—comes with a certain kind of tension. And I say that with love and respect. If you’ve read any of my other blogs, you know I don’t disrespect women. I might joke around, drop a funny line about a scene or a look, but never in a way that tears people down—especially not Black women. I was raised better than that.
This weekend, I was flipping through YouTube and came across a creator I follow. She mentioned she’d be appearing on someone’s podcast, so I went to check out the channel. I asked a simple question in the comments: “Are you doing an episode review or covering the whole season?” Harmless, right?
Her co-host replied, “I don’t know him. Where do you know him from?” It came off cold. Rude, even. I wasn’t being disrespectful. I was just engaging with content I enjoy. That kind of energy can turn a loyal follower into someone who clicks away.
This made me think—some content creators may forget that followers are people, too. A simple moment of kindness or clarity can go a long way. You never know who’s watching your content, sharing your videos, or quietly supporting you. One day you're trending, and the next, YouTube might flag or terminate your channel. So it’s always wise to stay grounded and treat people with care—even the ones you don’t “know.”
I still love reality TV. I still want to talk about it. But if you’ve ever felt like an outsider in a space where you just wanted to enjoy the drama on screen—not off it—you’re not alone.
Sometimes the shade isn't on Bravo... it's in the comment section.
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