🎭 Rent Me a Blind: Family Values Gone Left Before Breakfast

---

🎭 Rent Me a Blind: Family Values Gone Left Before Breakfast

Whew, chile… if you ever needed proof that family values and reality TV don’t mix, let me tell you about this morning’s episode of “Rent Me a Blind.”

Now, I don’t know if it was the coffee, the chaos, or the cousin with the questionable boyfriend — but something in that living room wasn’t right. The drama started before sunrise, and by noon, it was giving Lifetime meets Zeus Network.

---

☕ The Boyfriend, the Ex, or Whatever He Is…

You know how every family got that one? The man who’s not your man but still shows up like he got a key to the Wi-Fi and the fridge. He swears he’s here to “check on everybody,” but somehow every time he leaves, something comes up missing.

Now they say he didn’t take the stuff — but the math ain’t mathing. Every time he visits, a Bluetooth speaker, ring light, or somebody’s AirPods go “on vacation.” Baby, he’s stealing vibes and valuables, both.

---

💸 PPP? Please, Pay People Back!

And don’t get me started on the so-called “check.” Somebody thought they were slick trying to fix their money problems with a little PPP (Petty People Payment), but got caught quicker than a fake influencer doing a giveaway scam.

Now everybody pointing fingers, arguing over who forged what, and pretending like they don’t remember cashing that one check in 2021. The family group chat is a war zone — GIFs, receipts, and long paragraphs from aunties who type in all caps.

---

🧃 Kids on the Shelf — The Real Exploitation

Here’s the shady part: while the grown folks are fighting about who stole the check, they done turned the kids into unpaid background extras. These babies out here performing TikToks for clout and cornbread crumbs. One cousin even said, “The kids are trending!”

No ma’am. The kids are tired.

---

🎥 Reality TV Got Y’all Acting Brand New

This is what happens when people get one taste of reality TV fame — or even the idea of it. Suddenly, everybody’s an influencer, everybody’s “booked and busy,” and nobody wants to admit they still owe rent.

They go live to “clear the air” but forget their own reflection is catching the lie before the camera even does. A blind eye is being turned, but baby, the world is watching.

---

💅 Moral of the Mess

At the end of the day, family values don’t just disappear — they get misplaced behind pride, jealousy, and the Wi-Fi router. The real lesson? Lock your purse, check your receipts, and keep your circle tighter than your wig cap on reunion night.

Because when the blinds go up and the cameras come out — everybody suddenly got a storyline, a secret, and a side hustle.

---