Star Search… Where Was the Talent, Baby?Let’s talk about it.

Star Search… Where Was the Talent, Baby?

Let’s talk about it.

I sat down, ready to relive the magic of Star Search, expecting powerhouse vocals, standing ovations, and somebody’s auntie crying in the audience because “that baby is SANGIN’.”

Instead?

I was looking around my living room like…

Wait. I thought you had to have talent to be on here?

Now don’t get me wrong. Back in the day, Star Search was THAT girl. Hosted by Ed McMahon with that dramatic voice like he was announcing the end of the world, it used to feel serious. Like careers were on the line. Like rent was due. Like somebody’s mama had already bought the church a new pew in faith.

But baby… some of these performances?

It was giving community center talent show with a borrowed microphone and one rehearsal.

And I’m trying to be nice.

The Vocals Were… Searching

You know how you hear someone sing and your body reacts? Goosebumps. Tears. A spiritual moment.

This wasn’t that.

This was more like:

Off key but confident.

Big hair, little note control.

Runs that went on vacation and never came back.

I’m sitting there squinting like I need closed captioning for the pitch.

Now, I get it. Not everybody is born to be Whitney Houston or Aretha Franklin. But if we’re calling something “Star Search,” I expect at least a constellation. I don’t want a flickering porch light.

The Judges Were Doing Charity Work

And can we talk about the judges?

They were smiling a little too hard.

You know that polite smile when someone hands you potato salad with raisins in it? That was the energy.

“Great effort.” “You have potential.” “I see something special.”

Where? WHERE?

If you have to use the word “potential” more than twice, just say the truth and let’s all go home.

Nostalgia Is Powerful… But So Is Reality

Maybe I’m just older now. Maybe my standards are higher. Maybe social media and vocal coaches on TikTok have ruined me.

But I really thought when you stepped on that stage, you had to COME WITH IT.

Back then, people treated these shows like the last train out of town. You either delivered or you went back home and rethought your entire life plan.

Now it feels like some folks showed up thinking vibes were enough.

Vibes are not vocals, beloved.

The Drama Was Better Than The Talent

Low-key? The backstage interviews were more entertaining than the performances.

The mama crying.

The boyfriend saying, “She been singing since she was three.”

The cousin holding the flowers like it’s already Grammy night.

That’s the mess I came for.

Because when the singing didn’t hit, at least the delusion did.

And I say that with love.

Final Thoughts (With a Little Shade)

I wanted iconic.

I got… inspirational.

I wanted legendary.

I got “you tried.”

But here’s the thing — I still watched. And I still enjoyed it in a messy, side-eye kind of way. Because even when it’s not great, it’s entertaining.

And sometimes that’s enough.

But next time?

If we’re calling it Star Search…

Let’s actually find a star.

Not a flashlight.

Now tell me — was it just me? Or were y’all watching like, “Hmmmm… I thought you had to have talent?”

Because I need answers.