Red Flags & Greek Goddesses: RHOM Season 7 Just Turned Into Survivor—But With Spray Tans
Dramatic • Funny • Gossip-Filled • Shady • Entertaining • Messy
🌀 Episode 5: “Miami Goddesses” (Aired July 9, 2025)
Subtitle: Storm’s Coming—and Not Just the Weather
Chile, it’s not just the palm trees shaking—RHOM is officially in Category 7 drama mode. Episode 5 gave us hurricanes, healing parties, emotional shade, and narcissism disguised as enlightenment. Let’s unpack the mess.
1. Hurricane Prep + Sprinter Showdown
The ladies were supposed to be preparing for a storm, but instead, they brought one.
Lisa Hochstein showed up fashionably late—try two hours late—and Stephanie Shojaee was NOT having it. The Sprinter van turned into a confession booth with rolling eyes and clenched jaws. Stephanie didn’t mince words. She gathered Lisa like a clearance rack dress and politely told her, “Respect the time or stay at home.”
Lisa’s reaction? Shrug and lip gloss. Classic.
2. Greek-Themed Narcissism Party
Let’s be honest: when Alexia Nepola throws a party, it’s gonna be fabulous and emotionally hazardous. This time? A Greek-themed “self-discovery” bash with an off-brand self-help guru named Daniel, who came in looking like he read one therapy book and started charging for advice.
Everyone wore togas, sipped champagne, and got read for their narcissistic traits—because nothing says friendship like a group roast in designer heels.
Spoiler: They’re ALL narcissists. But some of them really think they’re not.
3. Guerdy & Julia Sit-Down
Last week’s wedding reception drink toss was still in everyone’s group chat. So Guerdy and Julia met to hash it out.
Julia apologized (again), Guerdy accepted it (kind of), but you could tell by Guerdy’s side-eye that the “friendship reset” was as shaky as Julia’s accent when she’s lying. Guerdy gave “grace under pressure,” but her inner monologue was saying, “Girl, I don’t trust you.”
4. Stephanie’s Backstory
Then we got the drop: Stephanie revealed she once bought her twin sisters matching luxury cars… and now they’re estranged. Talk about rich people problems. Between her unapologetic flexing and mysterious family fallout, Stephanie has that chaotic Housewives energy we’ve been waiting for.
She's like a Chanel bag—expensive, complicated, and not easily returned.
5. Kiki & Larsa: Mom Talk
Meanwhile, Kiki shared that her son was asking about his grandfather, and Larsa—in a rare moment of non-pettiness—offered solid mom advice. Touching? Yes. But don't get it twisted. Larsa’s empathy has a 30-minute expiration date.
🎭 Episode 6: “Major Red Flags” (Aired July 16, 2025)
Subtitle: Narcissism Game Night Ends in Tears, Gaslighting, and “Girl Bye” Moments
1. The Red Flag Game Goes Nuclear
Let’s play a game: Write a red flag and hand it to your friend with a smile while you mentally delete their number.
Everyone got called out for something—but Lisa? She got more flags than a United Nations summit. “Talks about herself too much,” “Doesn’t listen,” “Easily offended”—she was practically building a red flag fort by the end of the night.
2. Lisa vs. Larsa: Loyalty or Lies?
Larsa Pippen accused Lisa’s boyfriend, Jody, of using her for money and clout. Lisa blinked 47 times, took a dramatic sip of wine, and stormed out.
Later, they sat down for a one-on-one, where Larsa said, “I’m just looking out for you” with the same tone you use when you tell someone their lashes are falling off mid-convo. Surprisingly, they agreed to forgive each other. (For now…)
But we know how Larsa rolls. She forgives with her lips and drags with her confessionals.
3. Guerdy & Russell: Couples Therapy Realness
This was the moment the show slowed down and got real. Guerdy—still dealing with her breast cancer diagnosis—had a vulnerable heart-to-heart with her husband Russell. She expressed feeling emotionally isolated, and Russell admitted he didn’t know how to support her.
No shade here—just pure, heartbreaking, grown-woman truth. And honestly? Guerdy is carrying this season with dignity and depth. Pay her more, Bravo.
4. Stephanie’s Narcissist Reveal
Stephanie said it out loud: “I think I’m a narcissist.” And the way she said it? Like it was her astrological sign.
She didn’t flinch. She owned it. Then justified it by saying most businesspeople are narcissists. And honestly? That’s either self-aware or psychotic. Either way, we’re watching.
5. Underlying Tensions Bubble Up
By the end of Episode 6, it’s clear: these ladies do not like each other as much as they pretend to. The red flags weren’t just props—they were premonitions. Everyone is fake-smiling while preparing their next confessional takedown.
Alexia is the self-proclaimed queen. Larsa is the unfiltered shade assassin. Lisa is hanging on by a thread (and a hairstylist). Guerdy is giving real emotion. And Stephanie? She’s the plot twist.
🔥 Final Take
RHOM Season 7 is less about parties and more about personality disorders at this point.
- Alexia weaponized wellness like only a real OG can.
- Stephanie might be too real for this group.
- Lisa is fighting on all fronts—love, friends, and reputation.
- Larsa is using the group as her personal podcast panel.
- Guerdy is balancing survival and sisterhood like a champ.
💬 Talk to Us!
Are you riding for Team Lisa’s Redemption Arc, vibing with Larsa’s brutal honesty, or sipping on Stephanie’s hot mess juice?
Let us know in the comments:
Who’s really the narcissist?
Who’s faking the friendship?
And most importantly—who’s booking their reunion reads already?
#RHOM #MiamiMess #BravoShade #RedFlagsEverywhere #GoddessGoneWild #HousewivesOfHavoc
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